i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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