i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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