The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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