I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
