I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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