My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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