did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
