his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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