Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
