If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
