Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
