There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
