sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
