these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
