if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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