you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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