We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
