apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
