And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
