Moan for me like Helen Keller
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
