Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
