my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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