I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
