So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
