We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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