I seem to have left my pride at pride
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
