apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
