I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were trust falling into bushes
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
