YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
