Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
