I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
