ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
