did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
