I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
