So drunk its hurt
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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