i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
