girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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