How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
handjob tips. give me some.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
