..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
