I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
