I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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