...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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