HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
