its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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