I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
