THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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