just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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