He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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