am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
