her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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