she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
