If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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