My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
