she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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