Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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