Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize