someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I need moral support for this bender
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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