I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
