my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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