I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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