Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
