I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then my night got REAL pukey
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
