I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
