I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
