Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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