Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
