Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
