if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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