I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
