you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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