i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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