if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
