Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
